Hentai Hump-Day! Fatal Relations

HumpdayI’m sure you’ve noticed my general disdain for C’s Ware.  Well, here’s the game that started it: Fatal Relations.

Fun with templates?  I've seen RPG Maker games with more thought put into their title screens.

Fun with templates? I’ve seen RPG Maker games with more thought put into their title screens.

Fatal Relations was first developed in 1993, three years before Love Potion and Glo-Ri-A.  Huh… How about that?  Glo-Ri-A was made at around the same time as Love Potion, so why is it so much better?  Well, at least this time discrepancy gives Fatal Relations an excuse for being so crappy.

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Hentai Hump-Day! Love Potion

I was considering making an April Fools post, but 1) I didn’t have enough time to brainstorm, 2) There wouldn’t have been much of a payoff, and 3) The first thing that came to mind was having pictures where slices of cheesecakes are censored with breasts and penises, and we don’t need that.

Anyway…

It’s weird… I’ve said before that I would try to do weekly blog posts, but so far the only time I’ve been able to keep up a regular schedule is…

HumpdaySince I’m busy this week and the next, I decided to go with something light and easy. And when I think of hentai games that are short and easy, I think C’s Ware!  Yeah, C’s Ware, the same publisher of Glo-Ri-A, that C’s Ware.  I told you Glo-Ri-A was one of the exceptional good ones, right?  Well, here’s one of their more representative piles of crap.

Why do I get the feeling this won't have anything to do with love potions?

Why do I get the feeling this won’t have anything to do with love potions?

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Hentai Hump-Day! Milky Collection: May Club

It’s time for more classic hentai games!

HumpdayThis week, we crack open the Milky Collection.

First of all, let’s talk about why it’s the Milky Collection.  May Club and Nocturnal Illusions are games developed in Japan by Excellents under its Desire and Apricot brands, respectively.  They were published by Milky House, which only had two other releases: Legend of Fairies and Fairy Nights – both of which have also been released in English, making this collection annoyingly incomplete (but it’s okay; Legend of Fairies and Fairy Nights were both godawful).  May Club and Nocturnal Illusions were translated by the short-lived RCY Brothers company.  When the company closed, JAST USA snatched up the rights.

This is the only reason I would have supported Oculus Rift.

This is the only reason I would have supported Oculus Rift.

May Club has an interesting premise revolving around a virtual reality service that allows members to hook up outside of the terrifying confines of the real world.

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Hentai Hump-Day! JAST USA Memorial Collection Day 2: Runaway City

It’s that time again!

HumpdayThis week, we’re looking at Runaway City.

To this day, I still don't quite get the reasoning behind that title.

To this day, I still don’t quite get the reasoning behind that title.

Runaway City, or Meisou Toshi, was made in 1995, but wasn’t translated into English until 1998, two years after Seasons of the Sakura was both originally released in Japanese AND translated into English.

In retrospect, it’s weird that I didn’t start out with Runaway City.  It’s the oldest of the three Jast games in the collection, and its age reaaaaally shows.  Ultimately, it’s just that I wanted to play Three Sisters’ Story again more.

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Let’s Play: The Legend of Korra (Chapters 6-8)

Final three chapters!  Wow, that was easy.

Before I started chapter 6, I accidentally selected “New Game,” which erases all of your progress for no good reason at all.

Summary

In the Spirit World, Korra relearns how to Spiritbend and send spirits away in peace.  She continues deeper in pursuit of The Old Man, who keeps showing Korra bizarre visions for no real reason at all.  Eventually, we learn The Old Man is named Hundun and is an old nemesis of one of Korra’s past lives.  He escaped into the Spirit World, and reopening the portals allowed him to return and take his revenge by using his ancient fortunes to hire Chiblockers and Triads to… well, fuck with the Avatar.  And I guess completely drain her of her chi so he can return to his whole form.  Oh, and his brother is attached to his back for some reason.  Korra unlocks her Avatar State and wipes the floor with Hundun, and all is right once again.  Also, the Fire Ferrets get their revenge on the Wolfbats.  *cough*

Thoughts

By this time, you’ve learned pretty much all you need to learn about the game, so the final stages end up being pretty easy.  Then again, I DID have the health-regen item equipped, so it could’ve been a lot worse.  It’s pretty broken if you take advantage of cutscene attacks.

The final fight was, to its credit, pretty epic.  Especially since it rightfully made sure to make you feel like a god when you activate Avatar State.

Overall, the game was a fun distraction, well worth $15.  Not much else to say after that.  Interestingly, it seems Jinora’s voice actress is the same as in the series… which means she just half-assed it most of the time.

By the way, restarting the game and sticking to martial arts instead of bending is pretty fun and an interesting challenge.  It’s just annoying when you get to parts where you’re forced to switch to Waterbending for its range.

Finally, I had to make sure to share this:

Let’s Play: The Legend of Korra (Chapter 5)

Well… this was kind of rushed.

Summary

Korra arrives in the south pole and fights off waves of Chi-blockers and Triads.  She unlocks her Firebending by stringing along a combo against these enemies, which works despite her doing this all along in all the stages before it.  At the forest surrounding the southern spirit portal, she evades attacks and unlocks her Airbending.  She is quickly surrounded by malevolent spirits and is forced into the spirit portal.

Thoughts

This level was all around easier than the previous one.  The only interesting addition outside of the new elements was the Naga running boss battle.  I stand by my claim that Naga should have destroyed those mecha tanks with one swipe.  It would have been more accurate.

It definitely felt a bit rushed unlocking both Firebending and Airbending in one chapter.  I didn’t have all that much time with Firebending before I got Airbending, though I did enjoy using it.  Firebending has some interesting movement tricks to it that I look forward to mastering.

Hilariously, we STILL don’t know anyone’s motivations.  All we really know so far is that The Old Guy wants to steal Korra’s chi for… some purpose.  Allegedly.  The Chiblockers and Triad?  I dunno, I guess they’re all just dicks.

Let’s Play: The Legend of Korra (Chapter 4)

Now with recap, spiffy visual effects, and annotations!

Summary

Korra travels the abandoned districts of Republic City in search of answers.  Along the way, she gets attacked by a mecha tank.  She follows Jinora’s advice to root herself and counter its attacks to unlock her Earthbending.  It works, and Korra proceeds further in, fighting off Triads and another mecha tank.  She interrogates the tank’s pilot and learns that the person who hired him is some old guy from the Southern Water Tribe.  That’s right – our enemy is ONCE AGAIN Water Tribe.

Thoughts

The difficulty continues to spike frustratingly, but I’m ultimately impressed by the fighting system and rotating through elements to suit the situation.

More frustration abounds when being forced to deal with invisible walls that prevent you from exploring the way you want instead of the way the game designers want you to.  Ditto the fixed camera parts.

The pallet swap of the Triads boss was just embarrassingly bad.  The entire boss fight was frustrating, what with losing lock-on often and having to keep track of way too many things at once.  The waterbender is predictable, the earthbender is deadly but telegraphs easy, and the firebender is unpredictable.

I want to say that the battles are wonderfully designed, but once you level up in other elements enough, things once challenging have a way of scaling down drastically.  Really, most of the real challenge comes in learning to sense when cheap attacks are coming.  And speaking of cheap attacks, I REALLY hate the mooks.  I can counter most of their attacks, but the green ones occasionally use a swift kick that has 0 telegraph time.  If I anticipate a kick, I miss out on the opportunity to counter the punch.  If I anticipate the punch, I allow a free kick in.  It’s BS, and the best course of action ends up being element bending from a safe range and interrupting them rather than trying to counter.

Lastly, I just HAVE to mention how blatantly the designers avoided pretty much EVERY opportunity for character interaction.  And to think, what we get saddled with is Not Jinora.